hmm.. Thanks Grandma ;)

So this story actually begins on Monday night.  I was coming off an another stressful, exhausting day.  I am breaking my back trying to work with this class.  I am trying everything, I am am working SO hard.  And yet..  I just can't do it.  I'll admit it.  This class is hard, the kids are hard, the curriculum is hard.  And as much as I love teaching and most of the class- I was coming home everyday with a pounding headache, a bitter attitude and feeling highly discouraged.  So maybe this just isn't the class for me.  I have been praying so hard, trying to figure this out, trying to understand.  And I know my prayers have been answered.

I was riding my bike.  I was thinking of my Grandma Johnson.  She taught 1st grade for thirty years and she was my everything.  She passed away when I was ten.  As I grow up and begin my teaching career I miss her sooo much.  I rode to her house.  Parked my bike on the street and just stared at it.  I sat there, remembering her and our talks we had together.  I didn't cry- I just sat at thought- wishing that I could talk to her, that she could help me through this.  I know she watches over me and helps me and I know that she must have pulled some strings.  :)

The next morning I receive an email sent to the entire staff from one our kindergarten teachers.  She had  very suddenly accepted a job at another school and she took it.  The next morning, Wednesday, we receive another email explaining that because of enrollment and school grant money reasons that our school cannot hire another teacher.  Arrangements would have to be make and many options were being taken into consideration.  I didn't really think anything of this.  An few hours later, after a stressful and very confusing team PLC meeting, my principal pulls me aside and asks me if I want the position.  Unfortunately, I am not licensed to teach kindergarten.

So things are switched very suddenly.  Our first grade teacher is switched to that kindergarten position and I am asked to teach first grade.  My class will be split up and the fourth and fifth grade classes will be rearranged.

I am blown away.  I have always wanted to teach first grade and everyone agrees:  This is where I'm supposed to me.  Today was my last day in fourth- tomorrow I enter first.  Wow.

I don't want to feel like I have 'failed' the fourth grade.  This change needed to happen for things to be better- I haven't failed, I'm simply finding a new way.  A better way, something that I hope will be a good change.  Thankfully, I have a mentor to help me the first few weeks.  I will simply observing and helping tomorrow, and slowly take over the class.  I feel a little like I'm back to being a student teacher.

Maybe this is where I was supposed to be all along.  I am going from a Fourth Grade Nothing to a First Grade Something.  And I'm pretty sure Grandma has something to do with it.. ;)