I talked to a woman this morning who is a retired teacher, and now just volunteers to play the piano and read to kids and stuff. She tried to console me when she saw how nervous I was. This is her 49th 'first'. I can't even imagine right now being that good, that experienced. I feel so overwhelmed by everything right now.
I KNOW that I'm a good teacher. I've had.. some experience. Student teaching at least. Granted, summer camp, piano lessons and hanging out with kids after school doesn't make me a master teacher, I know that I need more classroom experience. However, I've always felt relatively comfortable in the classroom, I feel like the kids like me and that I do a good job. But the first day of school is so hard!! I expected it to be hard, but I guess I sort of hoped that it wouldn't be.
You see, the first day, week... month.. possibly the whole year- is about procedure. Procedures, procedures, procedures. So I taught the procedures. We discussed countless times how to walk down the hall, how to stay quiet and to be respectful. And you would suppose that by the fourth grade kids would know how to behave in a classroom. Apparently not! I spent half the day just trying to get these kids to follow instructions! I pulled out all my old tricks. I used a variety of cues, and we practiced them over and over again. I moved kids, put them in seats, walked about the room, tried to keep things moving quickly. I pulled kids aside during recess to discuss behavior. I waited for kids to be respectful and quiet. I reviewed the rules again and again. The principal came into the room and even had to have a chat with the kids. Boy, that made me feel like crap. I feel like the faculty is looking down on me and thinking that I'm a bad teacher. I think that I just need to accept the challenge and keep going. I'm not super upset.. just frustrated!!
I wish that I could give you a super nice blog about how much I love my students and how wonderful of an experience that I had my first day of school. Many of the students are wonderful, sweet children who cause no problems. But most of the kids are monsters!
So- I can't just complain. I need to find a way to solve the problem.
I will commit to:
Be more organized in my lesson plans and make sure that the day is fast paced and interesting.
Be positive in my conversations with my students and continue to give praise.
Create a classroom atmosphere that allows for better instruction and class participation.
Continue to constantly review rules and procedures.
Don't let the students win. I'm the teacher, I set the rules and stick to them.
Learn the names of my students and get to know there personalities and skill levels.
Tomorrow will be better!
I love this so much because it's honest. I'm starting my practicum working with a school psychologist this coming week and it's scary! I don't know nearly enough yet and there's so much to learn! But you care A LOT and that is one of the most important things. One thing I learned from the amazing teacher I worked with last year is to hold your students accountable 100% of the time. Do not let anything slide, no matter how little. When they see that you expect them to behave in all things, they should hopefully stop trying to test you.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and I know you can do it!